Review: Charles Silverstein and Felice Picano – The Joy of Gay Sex

joy ofAuthor: Charles Silverstein and Felice Picano
Reviewer: Danny
Publisher: William Morrow Paperback
Genre: MM Nonfiction
ISBN:

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Summary:
For a new century and a new generation of readers comes a fully revised and expanded edition of a classic guide to gay sex, love, and life.

Invaluable as a sex guide, a resource on building self-esteem, and a trusted aid for coming out of the closet, The Joy of Gay Sex covers the ins and outs of gay life alphabetically from “anus” to “wrestling.” Noted psychologist Dr. Charles Silverstein has collaborated once again with critically acclaimed novelist Felice Picano on this third edition, updating every single entry and adding nearly thirty new entries. The authors provide positive and responsible advice on safe sex in all its varieties; on emotional and relationship-oriented issues such as long-term couples, loneliness, and growing older; and on scores of diverse topics ranging from spirituality to online dating. With fifty new line drawings by acclaimed illustrator Joseph Phillips, this landmark reference is a necessary addition to every gay man’s bookshelf.
Review:
How happy I am to have finished reading this book!

List of this book’s topics:
Anus 1, Barebacking 1, Bars 3, Baths 4, Bears 5, Bisexuality 8, Blow Job 10, Body Decoration 12, Body Fluids and Disease 14, Body Image 15, Bondage and Discipline 17, Booze and Highs 19, Bottom 22, Bottoms Up 24, Buns 26, Camping 27, Celibacy 29, Chat Rooms 30, Civil Rights 31, Clubs 34, Cock Size 36, Coming Out 38, Compulsive Sex 42, Condoms 45, Cosmetic (Plastic) Surgery 48, Couples 50, Cruising 55, Daddy/Son Fantasies 58, Dangerous Sex 60, Depression 62, Dirty Talk 65, Domestic Partnerships 67, Domestic Violence 68, Drug Abuse 69, Drugs and Sex 75, Early Abuse 77, Effeminacy 78, Etiquette 79, Exhibitionism and Voyeurism 81, Face-to-Face 82, Feet 85, Fetish 86, Fidelity and Monogamy 88, Finding a Physician 90, First Time 91, Fisting 95, Foreskin 98, Friendship 100, Frottage 101, Fuck Buddies 103, Gay Families 105, Gay Liberation 107, Gay Politics 111, Growing Older 113, Guilt 117, Gyms 118, Hair 120, Hands 121, HIV Disease 122, Homophobia 130, Hustlers 132, Impotence 134, Insurance 137, Jealousy, Envy, and Possessiveness 140, J.O. Buddies 142, J.O. Clubs 142, J.O. Machines 144, Kinky Sex 145, Kissing 147, Letting Go 149, Licking 151, Living Wills 152, Loneliness 153, Lubricants 154, Male Sexual Response 155, Married Men 160, Massage 163, Masturbation and Fantasy 166, Mirrors 170, Mixed HIV Couples 171, Mutual Masturbation 174, Mythic Beginnings 176, Nibbling and Biting 178, Nipples 180, Noisemaking 181, On-line Cruising 182, Open Relationships 185, Out on the Job 186, Parents 190, Phone Sex 193, Pleasure Trap 197, Pornography 198, Problems of Ejaculation 199, Profiles 202, Promiscuity 204, Racism 205, Rape 206, Rear Entry 208, Rejection 210, Relaxation 211, Rimming and Felching 212, Role Playing 214, Sadomasochism 215, Safe Sex 218, Saying No 223, Scat 223, Seduction 224, Sex Ads 225, Sex Clubs 227, Sex Parties 228, Sex Phobia (or Puritanism) 233, Sex Toys 235, Sexual Harassment 238, Sexually Transmitted Diseases 242, Sex with Animals 250, Sex with Straight Men 252, Shaving 253, Side by Side 256, Sit on My Face 256, Sitting on It 260, Sixty-Nining 264, Sleazy Sex 265, Spanking 266, Spirituality 268, Suicide 269, Tearooms and Back Rooms 271, Teenagers 273, Tenderness 278, Three-Ways 279, Top 282, Touching and Holding 284, Trade 287, Transgender 288, Travel 292, Tricking 294, Types 296, Uniforms 297, Vanilla Sex 300, Versatility 301, Water Sports 302, Webcams 304, Web Site 306, Wills 307, Wrestling 310.
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It’s not that it’s a bad book, but the authors should be sued for misrepresentation (just a joke) so this book’s title is far from the actual content.

If you read the list of topics above, you will see that at least half of them concerns is more about problems related to being gay than about the joy of it. And for the rest, everything, I mean everything is stained by difficulties of all kinds that homosexuality can bring to you. So, in summary, at least two-thirds of the book are about the difficulties of homosexuality from the moment you come out of the closet until you die of old age or illness.

Whenever the authors really talk about “the joys of gay sex,” they remind us of the risks we face to be what we are and to do what we want or love.

Do you know that we share about 8,000,000 bacteria and/or viruses each time we french kiss? We can catch STDs even by giving a blow job or by rubbing against our lovers if they are not absolutely healthy. Sickening! Listening to the recommendations of this book, we’d be better to make love this way:

condom

No, he’s not entirely safe; his arms and feet are outside the condom.

And this:

swallow

Not a good idea either. To get drunk or drugged before going home with a stranger can lead to barebacking and diseases.

So it was a real challenge to finish reading this book.

However, I learned some interesting things, like the beginning of the gay revolution against “normal” people’s prejudices and injustice of the laws.

But I think reading this book would be good for young adults about to come out who has everything to learn. It could help to prevent them from unnecessary risks and allow them to still discover the joy of gay sex.

By the way, there is a lot of nice drawings in it.

So I give four hearts to this book

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