Review: Christie Snow – Believe In the Wish

believeAuthor: Christie Snow
Reviewer: Lucy
Publisher: Self Published
Genre: MM Contemporary

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Summary: I buried my twin sister six months after she found out she had cancer. Her funeral was three months ago. Today is our birthday and it started with delivery of letters from her.

It seems she didn’t trust me to move on after her death. She knows me too well. But how can I go on when my other half is just…gone? That’s not something I can recover from with a snap of my fingers. But I also can’t ignore her instructions even though I’d be perfectly content to cuddle up with my buddy, Johnnie Walker, and call it a year.

She has a list of things for me to do and there are rules attached.

There’s one major problem besides the fact it’s been three months since I left the house. I have to do all these things with her jerk of an ex, Hawk Simmons. He abandoned her shortly after she found out she was sick. If that wasn’t enough to make this a really bad idea, the fact that he makes an appearance in all my nighttime fantasies probably does.

I don’t think I can do this, but I owe it to my sister’s memory to try.

Review: It’s hard to even imagine how difficult it must be to lose a sibling, let alone a twin. A twin sister who has been your everything since you were both born, who founded a company with you and has now been taken from you three months before your birthdays, a victim of cancer. How do you go on? If you are Ethan, you drown yourself in booze, become a near hermit and give up on finding a reason to keep going. “The best part of him, and he didn’t know how to go on without her.” Luckily, twin sister Emma knew her brother well and makes plans in her will to avoid this.

I admit, when Emma’s lawyer shows up and gives the details, I was appalled for Ethan. She ties her half of their business and the home they shared to Ethan being required to complete tasks she plans and he has to do with Hawk, the boyfriend who left her when she was sick. How could she? There’s also a backstory as to why Ethan and Emma never discuss their love lives. This was, I admit, confusing because while it seemed Emma was part of it, after a while it seemed it was all Ethan.

Ethan reluctantly agrees to fulfill Emma’s last wishes. There were things definitely left unfinished about this. On the very first task Ethan is very nearly raped and despite them finding out the identity of the men, it was dropped from the story and really went no where. Another dropped moment was with Hawke’s ex-best friend, Slade. It was a huge betrayal and I wanted to know more, the whys or something, because I felt like Slade was an unfinished issue.

Hawk and Ethan work on completing the tasks. Hawk has big time baggage as well, so the two of them are sort of lost in grief and trying to complete a beloved woman’s last wishes. It was heart wrenching at times. I liked this so much more than I thought I would. I was afraid it would be either over the top or wallowing in angst, and it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it has some sad parts and sometimes I wanted to rail at Emma – what did she think she was doing to him? The way it is set up, Ethan feels betrayed over and over. “She was my best friend, my world, my only family and I thought she loved me, too. I was so wrong.”

Ethan turns out to be wrong on a few things too and he handles things really poorly sometimes. Hawk is the recipient of one of the worst stupid actions and it was hard to read. But they have to do what Emma would have wanted and they trudge on. It was interesting, a little painful and sometimes sad. The book is well written and I was thoroughly engaged throughout. Recommended.

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